unknown heart

Wy is it that that which we hold closest is what we know so little about?
We can chart the world-
yet fail to grasp a map of the heart.

No mystery is as challenging,
stimulating emotions so deep,
more daunting than Pandora's Box
the secrets it keeps

As a breeze shifts the sails of a boat
its direction, too changes, as it floats
where lies the rudder or mast
that directs the heart's emotions to change so fast?

why is taking hold the wheel such an unlikely task
when it would steer me to calm waters-
is peace of mind too much to ask?

I can wander the world and rarely get lost
so why can't I know my heart-
why can't I become its boss?

Lost

I keep holding on because I believe in the fight.
There are times when I doubt that my heart knows what's right.
Why is it that when it counts the most we often choke.
Why can't what lies just beneath the surface ever spring forth and
be heard. Why is it so hard to simply utter the right words.

Am I clinging to what's known because it is safe?
If I opened my hands and heart to see what else might await,
Is the fear that the darkness would find me alone
cause enough to halt the attempt?
Or are the lingering doubts of "what is" already time foolishly spent?

When I forget to dream, have I forgotten about life?
Does it mean I have relinquished my time to those other than me;
Since I have stopped thinking for me of what may come to be?
Daring to dream at someone elses loss-
Will dreaming always create an underlying cost?

Life now seems measured by smiles and tears
Accumulated over the vast number of years
Pleasure and pain have the same scale
For there are those who win, and those who fail.

And so it comes back to the question at hand
Who will judge our lives and by what criteria
Are we doomed if we stay beyond our given season
If we only stay for no real reason?